With my head in the clouds

how the fuck do i manage to screw up my life so bad?

2004-05-31T06:03:49Z

i've fucking done it again. it doens't matter what i do. when ever things start to go good, i'ts like the universe decides to take it away, and i ruin my life somehow. i'm not going into details because i'm fucking upset right now. i really feel like crying, and the only reason i'm not is because my eyes gets really puffy for hours after i get up in the morning, and i can't see.

how the fuck do i manage to screw up my life so bad? will someone please tell me?

secret_dreamer @ 2004-03-13T17:18:00

2004-03-14T01:21:32Z

Emo! You're very in touch with your emotions and
that's what I like about you! It's all about
the music for you... I have pity for your
tortured soul...you're just like me...

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

you wanna know what happens when i get bored?

2004-03-11T01:48:52Z

You are an Official Emo-Kid! Congratulations! Would
you like a tissue? Sniff..Sniff?

>>Your True Music Image<<(punkrocker? thug? diva-licious,emo-kid,Metal head,indie rocker?)
brought to you by Quizilla

Raver Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

things like that..raves and emo...intresting combo wouldn't you say?

secret_dreamer @ 2004-03-09T16:50:00

2004-03-10T00:50:24Z

Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:	Gamer
Your Favorite Band/Song	Pink Floyd - Bike
You Like To Read:	Religious literature
You Firmly Believe In:	Nose-picking
Everyone Thinks You Are:	An easy fuck
You Were Conceived:	On accident
You Will Marry:	A nudist

Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

i hate my step-family

2004-03-09T01:16:48Z

ok, my step family is both racist and sexist!!! on the way to Walnut Creek (where we actually stayed), if a person was a bad driver they must be asain! just had to be. omg, no exception. then moe and mike are all against gay marriages, i respect that, that's they're opinion and all, but then they saw some obviously gay couples they started making fun of them. and they wouldn't stop.

then we were eating at McCovey's or McGovey's (somethign like that) and one of the waiters was gay, i could careless, but he was originally our waiter, and Moe got all uptight so they moved us, so he wans't our waiter anymore. what a bitch!

and lunch yesterday was taking forever, and everyone else was getting there food before...even people who sat down after us. it didn't matter that we had more poeple then any of them, ed was sure it was because our waitress was asian. i just wanted to kill them all.

and lets not forget, ed doesn't like Santa Su...because all the Goths and "weird" people go here. it's not fair, and i can't argue with them because they all gang up on me or i get in trouble for being disrespectful...this really isn't fair at all.

JJ is quite open minded thank god, and he doens't like the way they act always, but he can't do anyhting either so it's the two of us silent but opposing the rest of them forever.

secret_dreamer @ 2004-02-29T12:09:00

2004-02-29T20:11:45Z

You are a Pixie! Pixies are a race of people who
are not good enough for heaven or bad enough
for hell so they are forced to stay on earth
forever. They often play tricks on people by
stealing things or throwing things at them. At
night they steal horses and bring them back
before dawn leaving only tangled manes to show
they were there. They love dance food and fun!

What Magical Creature are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

secret_dreamer @ 2004-02-29T10:34:00

2004-02-29T18:36:51Z

You are Bastet, cat goddess of love and warmth and
joy. You want to be around people and enjoy
making them happy.

Which Egyptian God Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

My slogan (from last night)

2004-02-28T02:21:19Z

Stole My H3art: sammy u rock
X Kiss M3 N0t X: =D why?
Stole My H3art: lol
Stole My H3art: becuz u r The Sammy of SSHS
X Kiss M3 N0t X: ??? LMAO!
X Kiss M3 N0t X: Theres other sammys
Stole My H3art: yes there are sammy's then there are Sammy's
Stole My H3art: and you are a Sammy
X Kiss M3 N0t X: lol
Stole My H3art: better yet
X Kiss M3 N0t X: ur adorable!
X Kiss M3 N0t X: lol
Stole My H3art: you are a sammie
Stole My H3art: hah
X Kiss M3 N0t X: I should DIRECTIONS TO PROPERLY USE YOUR STACY: fold up and take everywhere for when you am feeling down.. simply unfold for compliment.
X Kiss M3 N0t X: lol your slogan'

Let's just tell the world now huh?

2004-02-24T23:49:55Z

I am so freaking mad right now. people need to think before they speak. lindz, why is it any of your business who i flirt with, and better yet, why do you feel the need to tell the world about my love life? if i want to flirt with justin, then i will, it's none of your bisiness, and you were way out of line saying something about it, i would have been fine if you said it in private, but not only did you say it in front of justin, you said it loud enough for half the school to hear. first you make a stupid comment about ducks being gay, which hurt sabina, now you go and say somethign like that to me today? are you stupid? i can't take it any more, i've been good about not getting mad when you cross the line or say something, but not anymore. i'm sick of it. you talk and you don't think about other people's reactions and how much you can hurt them.

sabina, sammy i think you know what this list is

Sammy
jenna
sabina
risa
mandy
lindz

matt, sabina told me what you said after i left, thank you very much. and sabina you're right hun. if others can do it to us, why can't we do it to them. i'm going to go make sure mine and sabina's partner project is finished, and i'm so upset that it might take me awhile. sabina or sammy or someone cool (hence one of the people on that list {excluding lindz} call me or something, because as much as i like everyone else, you are the people i can talk to).

the color of the day is black

you speak,
not a thought about what you say,
you speak,
not caring how your words affect those around,
you speak,
and people cry.
i can't take much more of this,
think for once,
how do you words affect those around you?
how many people do they hurt?
can't you see what you are doing,
not only to me,
but to those you can't see?
actions speak louder then words.
Can you hear what i am saying?
No?
Then can you hear what i am doing.

Stacy and Sabina

2004-02-21T02:08:05Z

it's diane and sabina!!!! we just finished writing all of our questions for the partner project-now we have to write why our answers are the correct ones-and i guess that because we say so won't sut it-damn this is going to take some work!!!

i love orgainzing things! call me! i will so organize everything for you!!! btw-diane is my money making whore!!!!!!! ~sabina (quack quack)

ok so you heard it from my pimp-i am a money making whore!!! lol. we're just kinda chilling and listening to music and and and eating chocolate oreos. btw-everyone laugh-Billy Ponticelli (a.k.a. stoned bird) wants to hook sabina up with bone. my bone i have him whipped-without lifting a finger. he he he. ~diane

todays random color is...green ~diane
and todays random sounds is...Stacy's Mom ~sabina

not really a rant...just the truth

2004-02-20T00:52:17Z

<center>My personality is rated 34.</center><center><a href="http://www.midgetfarm.com/quiz/personality.shtml" target="_blank">What is yours?</a></center></center><center><a href="http://www.midgetfarm.com" target="_self">quiz by midgetfarm.com</a></center>

it's beeen a really bad day, i wish it was over, now i'm going to go bury my head in my english book for the next 3 hours...with any luck i might make some head way in english...then my bio lab conclusion...then research for history...i know i'm missing something, please let me know what it is...maybe it will push me over the edge and and i can go to a mental institute somewhere far away from all the shit/crap/drama of my life. i am seriously considering checking myself into one...a few months of peace in there would do me some good-because it's got to be better there then my life right here right now

and for those of you who think i look alright, and that i'm as happy as i seem, why don't you take a deeper look inside of yourself-are you really as happy as you seem? no? then maybe you have an idea, for those of you who can answer yes, i am as happy as i seem, then you are in denile, and you're almost as fucked up as me. think about that for awhile.

secret_dreamer @ 2004-02-16T13:33:00

2004-02-16T21:40:02Z

my weekend at the beach=not quite exciting. i got a lil bit burnt-and it was really pretty so of course you know i didn't have my suit or any shorts. ghaness. but hell i got Rudy's (twice) and Chipolte while i was up there, so that was good. then like wew went to this store called Kim's Store-sounds nice huh?) there were like all these people from mini gangs and shit there following ys around this disgusting liquor store, so we went to the donut shop and it looked like the guys fathers were there. so it was just freaking amusing. really

hope ya'll had a Happy Valentine's Day!!!

random color of the day...robin's egg blue

Dorks R Us

2004-02-13T03:03:21Z

ok, bad day, not going into it all tho.

Jenna if you read this i'm sorry!!!!!!

todays random lucky number is 112 and tomroows is ummmm ummmmmm 13 (unlucky friday the 13th. 13=my lucky number)

talked to Steven 2day, and Amanda, and and and Sabina and i got Jamba Juice!!! (we also started work on our english projects. i hate all you stupid sucky poopie heads who werren't around to help us out!)

and now here is Sabina!!!

all of you who didn't help us: you shallbe imprisioned when me ans stacy take over the world. thank you and goodnight. hee hee actually, i want to say happy valentines day to all cuz, i just do. mucho much love....p.s. jesus is my dj!!! back to stacy:

sabina is such a dork!!! rotflmao! then again so am i!

Me=Idiot!

2004-02-12T00:23:10Z

ok like, i am an IDIOT!!! i have jon in peer tutoring as you all know by now-well now i have Justin in there too, yes that is right all of you...Justin-my ex. joyus day huh? woot woot retard here!!! and dork and anythind else that applies-the only great thing about today is this wonderful Strawberry Tsunami i'm drinking right now.

random lucky number of the day...15 let's give it up (after friday i'm starting on colors. look out for them)

random

2004-02-10T23:41:45Z

ok who had a good day but diesn't know why? raise your hand ::raises hand:: yep that's me ya'll!!! lol. don't ask me why though...o and someone asked me if i was going out with Justin again...answer to that one is no i am not. we are just friends, and that's the way it is and probably shall always be.

btw...i am boreded. yessum you heard it here first folks. i'm gonna go get this song loaded then i'm leaving lata all!!!

todays random lucky number is...15!!! read it and wepp boys and girls, read it and weep.

pointlessness

2004-02-10T00:16:19Z

hey, i've been at my mom's so i don't get much if any time at all on the internet...but i'm writing a quick entry now, and i'm currently online for those of you who have my current sn. lol.

i don't remember if i've ever mentioned bone's fascitnation with poking my boob. and it turns out a few other ppl have that same fascination. i find it personally funny...omg they are just boobs ya'll!! we all have em!!! o well...i like ummm...had a good day...NOW AND LATERS rock! not as much as green starburst-but they'll work till i get some more of them. i'm going camping this weekend. woot woot (very sarcastic woot woot tho)

i found Sabina's glasses and gave em back to her, ooo when i got home today i made myselfa cheeseburger...sammy, ashie, did i scare you on the way home today? i was soo likeOMG it's Sammy!!!! then ashi poked her head outta da window and i was like yay! ashie!! lol.

MARCH 2ND @ 2:30pm i have my drivers test. yay!!! ok i'm gonna go now because i'm just rambling on about like nothing.

todays random lucky number is 22. (sabina ask about thurs. we need to start that project fairly qucikly)

today...

2004-02-06T03:05:43Z

tooty fruity lemon...i'm not sure...BONE! lol-sammy knows what that means.

and being tickleish suddenly became a good thing today. trust me, when your pinned down to the ground by a hot guy (jon) tickling you, it becomes a good thing instantaneously. bwhahaha!!!

today's random luicky number is 67. yes, that evilish coolish number 67.

secret_dreamer @ 2004-01-30T22:00:00

2004-01-31T06:07:21Z

ok today's totally random lucky number is 2. because it is.

Got Comedy rocked tonight! lindz and i went because we volunteered to usher-whish we took to mean-sit on our arses and shit diddly squat-which i might say we did very well. lol. but yea-you all rocked! and it really sux that this is the last year.

well i gots to go clean my room cuz i have to b up at 5 in the morning. Sammy i'll call you sometimes 2morro after i talk to my mom. lata all!!!

<center>XOXO~diane

w00t w00t

2004-01-30T02:46:05Z

ok since sabina is the newest addition to my bestest friends in the whole wide world (all of you bow down to sabina!), in her honor i will now present the random lucky number of the day. it premeires to day.

todays random lucky number is....wait for it....wait for it....7!!! go all things 7!!!

awWwWwWwWwWwWwWw

2004-01-29T01:38:18Z

mandy is a sweetie! i just got her package. she mailed me a velated b-day present and b-lated X-mas present. the softst cutest stuffed eeyore toy, a really cute purse, and then she actually found a cheesburger charm for our braclets!!! omg!!! (mb some of you remember the whole Bob and Fred the invisible cheeseburgers from last year), we were trying to find cheeseburger related thing to send eachother,i didn't succeed. but o well. i do not care. i started crying when i read the card she got me. because it was so sweet, and i feel the exact same way about her. mb i should move away, and then i'll know who my true friends are...because i know we'll always be friends, because of the efforts we make to talk to eachother every chance we get. we call eachother on every holiday and eachothers birthdays and when something is bothering us. i mean i love all my frineds, but i don't know how she does it, no matter what is wrong she can always put a smile on my face, and she told me i can do the same thing for her.

ok, enough of me rambling on aboutt hat stuff, but like yea...oooooo Friday lindz and i are ushering at Got Comedy!!!! yay, so i'll get ot see them perform. yip yip yay!!!

lol

2004-01-28T23:34:54Z

ok, like yesterday, lindz and i talked with jon for a few minutes, and as he walked away he yelled something and was like call me, then yelled out his number-well i assumed he was talkign to lindz, but he was sitting next to me in "choir", and he was like "you didn't call me yesterday. "

"Was i supossed too?"

"Yeah, i gave you my number."

"I thought you were talking to lindz."

"No. I was talking to you." lol, how great is that one? lol. then like, we started talkign about horror movies, and he asked me (since i had told him i hadn't seen Freddie VS Jason) who i thought woul win, so i said Freddie. then he launched into telling me what happens in the movie. and not a 30 second thing, more like almost 20 minutes. lol.

and then like cory saw me today, and i gave him a hug and he was like so i here you like a freshman. and i just ignored that, then he saw me a little later and he was with justin, well cory yelled out to me "Freshman Lover!" and i turned to glare at him, and i saw justin's face. omg i felt so bad-even though i didn't do anything. he looked a bit upset. it's was saddening. does anyone know how cory found out? i didn't trell alot of people, that i thought jon was hot...

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

2004-01-28T05:23:58Z

omg, who else saw jon? the hot new guy? he's a froshie-but he should be a sophmore. omg hottie (and if you don't a gree well poo on you!!!) i got him not only in peer tutoring, but he is now in the choir class with me, gracie, and tiffy. lol. yay! i'm so excited!

ok enough of that now...lol. ummmm anyone have anything to say?

i dind't get to go to the taping of reba like i was suppossed to-but next week i get to go somewhere better, just trying to decide where.

someone else want to bitch at me? get in line

2004-01-27T01:57:39Z

i've had a fucking bad day. i go to school, my classes are all the same not to bad-then we hit lunch. jenna started talking about how me and lindz have shit to work through-when that isn't true! lindz and i made up, and we went to the movies on friday! then i tell her that-and i did snap at her but i've told her this 500 times already. then lisa snaps at me and thank god the bell rang to end lunch, because i was pissed, and thinking about washing my hands of the lot of them-my two bestfriends included.

then after school i went to where my dad normally picks me up, and he wasn't there. so i call him and he's like o i'm in northridge. i'll be there in a half hour (meantime one bus leaves). then i walk back to school to wait tehre. he calls me just as the second bus leaves and is like take the bus i won't be home till 4:30. so i wait and take the 4:00 bus, and walk home, as i walk home he calls again and tells me now he won't be home till like 5:00, which means i had to call Michele and tell her why i couldn't come work for her today, with a bunch of kids cussing and shouting in the background.

god not a good day at all-except for one thing-it's almost over.

you gave me the knife,
i slit my wrists,
you look horrified,
what did you expect me to do?
you broke my heart,
how am i to go on living?
i'm not.

(just a lil poem ppl that's all) hasn't this just been the shittiest day ever?

ooo lets just top it off with the fact i can't escape till saturday. and it would have been great-no step brother around at my mom's-but i'd have no bathroom either. the contracor jsut called my mom, and is tearing aparty my bathroom 2morro-and the bathroom is a pig sty. i cleaned it all out, unde the counters, my drawer and all my stuff out of the medicine cabinnet-now i'ts all jj and mike's stuff in there-and if i was there-i'd get yelled at for leaving my stuff lying all over. does nobody ever care about what i think or whjat's right. i'm sorry if i've offened anyone in here, and if i have o fucking well-i'm not in the mood to deal with it. and for all of you who have actually taken the time to read this, and now are going to yell at me for being an insesitive moron or some other shit, i don't fucking care. nothing you can do to me or say to me, will make any difference.

well i'm going to go write some depressing poems with the lights off, and wait for somone to come bitch at me. (if i seem all happy on aim, it's a fucking lie. everything i say is a lie if i'm happy. i'm tired of holding it all in. and i'm fucking tired of everyone bitching at me-not like that ever stops them)

o woop woop

2004-01-25T21:00:09Z

ok, like we all know i'm a geek who has way to much time on her hands. and like now i'ma depressed geek with to much time on my hands. tod has been down for 3 fucking days so i can't post there-and like i normally feel better after posting there because i get all this love ad everything-and i love messing around with the codes on my diary there. that is the one i post in most often now.

i mean times like these i feel like i have no frineds, or any one who really cares. and like idk why i fele like this. but i do sometimes. and then i start to feel worse because i know there a few out there who do care. the rest of you i'm not even sure why you both being my frined. what have i ever done for you? (see here i go again). gah i need some help.

The World Hates Me

2004-01-25T03:50:16Z

I'm convinced that the world hates me. i'm serious about this. and and and-idk. i have npo idea why i fele like this. i'm am offcialy depressed. mb ur right jen-mb i should b put on meds or something. but i've been good till very recently... XOXO~diane